


Catastrophic remembrances

by tonysta_k



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Little bit of fluff at the end, M/M, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-03
Updated: 2014-06-03
Packaged: 2018-02-03 06:36:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1734722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tonysta_k/pseuds/tonysta_k
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Sirius is woken up in the middle of the night, he would of never expected it to be because of Remus' crying.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Catastrophic remembrances

It was one of those nights that Remus spent tossing and turning in his sleep. One of those nights that Remus didn't know if he was too hot or too cold to have the bed sheets over him. One of those nights where Remus would end up wrestling with the sheets out of frustration to get to sleep and just general exhaustion. Usually, Remus would know when he would have one of these nights. They usually occurred when Remus was having a bad day and they always occurred a few days before and after a full moon. But sometimes Remus couldn't predict if he would have a good night sleep or if he would end up having to cast a silencing charm so that his horrendous crying wouldn't wake up Sirius, James, or Peter.

Today hadn't been a particularly bad day for Remus. He hadn't got a detention and it was two weeks before the full moon, so his normal anxiety for the full moon hadn't kicked in at all. But there was just something there at the back of his mind that made Remus went to scream, cry, just to let all his horrid, bottled-up emotions out. He hadn't been acting shifty or suspicious at all during the day, or at least he hoped he hadn't. He knew what was bothering him and he was determined to keep it to himself. No one else could know about it. Even if Sirius, James, and Peter had promised him that he could go to them with anything -he of course made the same promise back-, he didn't want to tell them about it. It was as if that if Remus spoke about it, then the memory would still remain as a crucial and important part of his childhood. If he didn't talk about it then maybe it would just seem like a dream. Although, Remus knew that this was not the case. It didn't matter if he spoke about it or if he kept it to himself, it would still be the thing that haunted his dreams and brought tears to his eyes.

Now, if there was one thing that was rare for Remus, it was slipping up when it came to keeping himself to himself. He didn't like to pester the others with his 'petty' problems. He liked to think that he was quite good at it, really. That was the most praise he would allow himself to have, of course.

So when he was laying down in bed at roughly two in the morning with tears rapidly rolling down his cheeks and loud sobs escaping his from mouth, Remus was sure that he had cast the silencing charm like he always did at night, just in case something happened, this night being a perfect example.

He just couldn't get the horrid images out of his head. The whips. The cage. The chains. The beatings. All of it just stuck in his head and wouldn't seem to leave.

Something that might be a shock to many, is that Sirius Black was a light sleeper. Even the smallest of sounds could wake the shoulder-length haired boy up from his sleep. Something that constantly woke Sirius up use to be James' snoring. It was terrible. Sirius was more than thankful when he had learnt how to do a silencing charm, it came in handy to say the least.

But what woke Sirius up on this night wasn't the snoring of James, or the munching of food coming from Peter. Instead, it was the horrific, ghastly, bloodcurdling wails of Remus. The word shocked didn't even start to describe how Sirius was when he had worked out what the sound was, and more importantly, who the sound was coming from.

Getting out of his bed, Sirius noticed that James and Peter had woken up as well. He needed to think of something to get them to go back to sleep. He knew that Remus would only get worse if they were all crowding around him and asking him why he was crying and other questions that you would ask in the situation of one of your best friend's wailing so loud that they woke you up.

"What's going on?" James mumbled tiredly and propped himself up on his elbow, looking at Sirius, Peter doing the same thing.

"Just go back to sleep, I've got this." Sirius replied, which seemed to be a good enough of a answer for both boys as they went back to sleep pretty much as soon as the words left Sirius' mouth.

Sirius quickly pulled Remus' curtain back and stepped on the other side of it, pulling it back so it would appear shut on the other side and looking down at the bed where Remus was.

The sight that Sirius was met with horrified him. Not out of disappointment, no. But out of shock.

Remus was laid under his sheets, shaking violently with obvious fear, the wails now almost deafening as Sirius stood closer.

"Remus, it's me." Sirius said quietly, gently shaking Remus by what he expected to be his shoulder.

There was a yelp from under the sheets, followed by a pale hand slowly pulling the sheets down from Remus' face.

Remus' face was glossy from all the wet tears that had, and continued, to run down his pale cheeks. His eyes were glassy, but also bloodshot.

Before either boy had a chance to speak, Sirius was in the bed with Remus, under the sheets. He didn't lay down with Remus though, instead siting up and pulling Remus up into his arms so he could comfort him better.

If Sirius wasn't in such shock and Remus wasn't crying and shaking so much as he held onto Sirius, Sirius would of cast a silencing spell. But the thought didn't even go into his head as he held a broken boy in his arms.

It took at least ten minutes for Remus' cries to calm down to a mixture of small sobs and whimpers.

Sirius sat there, Remus pretty much in his lap. He wasn't sure what to say, or do, how to approach the situation or how to simply ask what was wrong. So instead of using his mouth and words, his used his actions. He moved Remus so that he was curled up by his side with his head on Sirius' lap, Sirius' long fingers finding their way through Remus' sweat-dampened hair.

It was a few minuets before either of them spoke, "I'm sorry for waking you. I usually cast a silencing charm so you and the others don't hear me." Remus said quietly.

Sirius was both not shocked and shocked by what Remus had said. The reason for Sirius not being shocked was that he knew that Remus would apologize for something that shouldn't need to be apologize for. Crying was a natural thing for everyone. But what had shocked Sirius was that Remus suggested that the current situation hadn't been a one time thing.

"Don't apologize, you haven't done anything wrong." Sirius replied and looked down at Remus, moving his hand to his cheek and rubbing his dampened cheek, smiling a little bit when Remus seemed to find a bit of comfort in the action.

"I suppose I owe you an explanation as to why I was in such a state." Remus said quietly, looking up at Sirius with a sad smile.

Sirius shrugged one of his shoulders but sent Remus a small smile. “You don’t have to, but it would be helpful Moony.” He replied, not wanting Remus to feel pressured, but also wanting to help.

Remus nodded, knowing that Sirius had his best at heart. He took a deep breath before replying to Sirius, “After the attack, it wasn't just me who changed.” He started, closing his eyes. Maybe if he didn’t look at Sirius it would be easier.

"My parents, they completely turned. I was no longer their son. I was just some kid with their genes who once a month turned into a monster." He continued, licking over his lip as he tried not to cry again.

Sirius listened with slightly widened eyes and a fast beating heart. He hoped this wasn’t going where he thought it was going. But he knew it was. He wiped his thumb over Remus’ cheek, offering a little bit of comfort and encouragement to him.

Remus took a deep breath, mentally telling himself to man up a bit before he started to talk again. “I’d be kept in my room, I wasn’t allowed out unless I was bursting to go to the toilet. Every full moon I’d be locked in this horrid little cage. I’d be whipped, beaten, starved, treated like the monster I am.” He finished, voice quavering and bottom lip trembling.

Sirius shook his head, “You are not a monster, Remus Lupin.” He insisted and laid down, moving Remus into a spooning position, Sirius’ chest to Remus’ back.

Remus shut his eyes tightly and gripped onto Sirius’ hands that were around his waist and resting on his belly. He just wanted to disappear. He didn't know it talking about it had made him feel better or worse than before. Better, he hoped.

"You’re the smartest boy I know. And the kindest, too." Sirius started, gently kissing Remus’ clothed shoulder. "You are not a monster, Moony. I don’t care what you’ve been told by others, they’re wrong. You listen to me, you’re the greatest guy ever. After me,of course." He said, both boys laughing a little for the first time since the situation had occurred.

Remus had a small smile on his lips, eyes still closed and his hands remaining on Sirius’. “Thanks Sirius. It means a lot that I can talk to you about things.” He said with a small yawn, finally feeling like he was able to sleep.

Sirius just smiled, “Anytime, Moony. Anytime.”


End file.
